Today marks exactly four weeks until my fifth book launches into the world. It’s been nearly seven years since I published my first, a collection developed from the first five years of this blog. That book, called Launching Sheep & Other Stories from the Intersection of History and Nonsense, is part history, part memoir, and a good part made-up silliness. The cover features a picture of me in period costume.
That was my first professional author photograph. My second was taken not long after in preparation for the release of my first novel, which happened about five months later. That one is a tad bit more professional and includes much less ridiculous clothing. I’m smiling, but not too much. I look like an approachable but also knowledgeable and literary lady in her thirties.
Most of those things, I hope I am. One of them, I definitely am not. And that’s why I recently had some new photos taken. Having portraits taken is uncomfortable for me. I don’t exactly run from the camera, but as a typical mom and keeper of memories, I am more often behind the lens than in front of it.
But I’ve earned nearly seven more years of wrinkles and gray hair since the last set of head shots, and readers have been expecting author portraits since the papyrus scrolls of Ancient Egypt. I couldn’t avoid them any more than John Milton could have when his printer Humphrey Moseley insisted the poet include one with his first collection of poems in 1645.
Milton enlisted the help of renowned engraver William Marshall to create a frontispiece including an author portrait. At the time, Milton was thirty-seven years old, but the standard of the day was to include a picture of the poet at a younger age. Alas, that is no longer the standard.
According to the words engraved around the portrait, William aimed to depict Milton at the age of twenty-one. According to the overly large nose, greasy hair, puckered lips, and swollen right eye of the portrait, he missed.
The picture was so unflattering and Milton so upset about it, that the poet asked the engraver to include the following lines in Greek (a language that Marshall allegedly could not read) beneath the portrait:
“Looking at the form of the original, you could say, perhaps that his likeness has been drawn by a rank beginner; but, my friends, since you do not recognize what is pictured here, have a chuckle at a caricature by a good-for-nothing artist.”
When the collection was updated in 1673, the portrait was no longer included, but Milton, apparently still bitter about the worst head shot ever, moved his added poetic words to the interior of the book and slapped a title on them: “On the Engraver of his Portrait.”
Fortunately, my good friend and photographer is much more pleasant to work with than William Marshall apparently was. She doesn’t bat an eye when I ask her to photograph me in period costume holding a laptop, or to meet me in Forest Park in St. Louis so we can get a hint of the 1904 World’s Fair into the pictures.
She makes it as easy as possible for an awkward, squinty-eyed person such as myself to look pretty darn okay. I can trust that she’d never make my nose appear too large, my eye swollen, or my hair extra greasy. She’d probably even digitally remove my wrinkles and gray hair if I asked her to, but I didn’t. And she can trust that I’ll never include an insulting poem about her work in my book.
Author Sarah Angleton 
Love the new photo.
Thank you!
Super photo
Thank you!
Great picture, Sarah! Looking good! Love that you went to Forest Park for the background. Four weeks! Woo-hoo!
Diane
Thank you! My friend was a little disappointed that I didn’t show up in Fair-Era attire. 🙂
That would have been great too, but this one will be much more useful. Lol.
I need to update mine but I’m a behind the camera person too.
I know a great photographer if you need one!
Good photo. Same smile, too!
Thanks! Smiles don’t age too much.
Great photos (both). I can’t see much aging. Which one did you get Kate Middleton the Princess of Wales to photoshop? The new gravatar is good too.
Thanks! Yes, Kate did the photo shopping. She has run away from the royal life and is hiding out in the suburbs of St. Louis. Shoot! I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone that.
While the British media assigned to cover the Royals is now fighting one another to get aboard planes headed for St. Louis, it should be noted that Kate did a wonderful job on the photo. Looking forward to the book release.
Much better than that Mother’s Day one she botched. Thank you!
Lookin’ good there! Love the photo. X
Thank you!
Great author pic! They’re tricky things. Milton wasn’t alone, but publishers get rather insistent about having them.
Thanks! Yes, they’re pretty standard and often uncomfortable for people who like to spend a lot of their time by themselves making up stories.
Looking good in that new photo! It reminds me I should update my WordPress avatar…
Thanks! It is nice to refresh once in a while.
Congratulations on your fifth book and your continuing good looks. My favorite part of most books is the author blurb and photo. I think the more successful a writer is, the uglier the photo should be. Unsuccessful writers should look the best. It only seems fair.
Dang it! I should have chosen one of the squintier ones.
Countdown to launch in 3, 2… Congrats on the upcoming book. And the new photo is excellent…I’m too deathly afraid to update mine.
Thanks! You know, if you need one, I know a great photographer. She is located in the Midwest, though.
I read that huckleberries can stave off gray hair. Do you think that is true? I hope so, honestly. Must have some hope. The Gifford Pinchet National Forest requires a permit for picking huckleberries. Their website is https://gp.fs2c.usda.gov/gp/ . Good luck!
I’ve never had a huckleberry. Eh, I’ll deal with it. It’s my crown of splendor.
What a brilliant retort, I love the way you own your image and character!! I’d say ‘you go girl’, but that phrase is not in my currency! ⚠️